Sunday, November 22, 2009
ghost of the past...
the past flow back into my mind as the song flow into my ear...
maybe i didn't forget...
i just wasn't reminded of it...
but whenever i heard it...
it came haunting me again...
maybe i just can't forget...
so i am letting the song flow back into my ear...
as the memory flow back into my brain...
as the blood flow out from the wounds again...
and stare at the ceiling...
as i bleed myself dry tonight...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 1:16 AM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Lemon Tea...
The memory from my teens days just came back suddenly..
the love for lemon tea and the reason for it...
i used to think that love is just like lemon tea...
Sweet yet sour...
and with a tinge of bitter taste...
just like falling in love...
you feel just as sweet at time...
and sour when you see her with someone else...
with a bit of bitter taste...
as i get older i forgot about it...
but the taste of lemon tea just brings it all back to me...
perhaps only first love taste like this...
or maybe that is just the taste of the moment before falling in love...
and i am long overdue...
what drinks suits you today?
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 7:58 PM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
singapore no fun....
is funny when you see that the government have been saying that they want to promote singapore as a regional hub for arts...
and the people say, "that would be great!"...
and yet their mindset are sooo stuck in the mud...
was checking out for flash mob in Singapore online...
see if i can join the fun...
(well we only live once, why not do something harmless and fun?)
and two forum i have read give such negative reviews on the idea...
is like on one thread they say "Singapore no fun"...
and on the other thread they say," nah is illegal gathering..."
i am like...
omg...
is just harmless fun..
why such a negative reaction?
no wonder Singapore is sooooooooo boring...
and onto harmless fun...
i still can't get why are the NTU student with the bus stop video were being slammed...
did they get the driver fired?
did they cause the car behind to crash?
did they kill anyone inside the bus?
is just harmless fun...
why are people reacting like they kill the driver?
we laugh at TV mobile's program "just for gags"...
they are pulling jokes everyday on different people on street...
why can't we be like them??
relax Singapore...
is just a little gag...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 2:03 AM
random thoughts...
if in a forest a tree fell...
and there is no living souls around to hear it...
did it make a sound as it hit the ground?
if it lay there after the fall...
and no one was there to see it...
did it fell onto the ground?
if it had never been seen by any living being...
did it ever existed?
at this very moment...
when i disappear from all people sight...
am i not existence?
if so....
who's blog are you reading?
am i the one who wrote it?
and if no one read the blog...
does it exist?
if seeing is believing...
and you don't see me now...
am i real?
or am i just a flick of imagination created from your mind?
who am i?
are all our senses trustworthy?
are what we seeing really what it is?
are what we smelling what we are smelling?
are what we hearing real?
are what we touching really the way it feels?
what are we living in?
are we real?
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 12:51 AM
Friday, October 16, 2009
i hate it...
i am seriously, seriously sick of living a life like this...
work and study, work and study....
is really draining me out...
so stop saying...
"Fizh you still work during school? you are sooo hardworking!!"
if i can afford living without working...
WHO THE HELL WANNA WORK AND STUDY!!!
pissed...
i need to break out of this soon...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 6:30 PM
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
invisible 2...
sometime i wish i could be invisible...
and no one would see me then...
no one would know me...
i can do as i please...
dance when i feel excited...
punch something when i am angry...
jump around when i am happy...
stone when i get sad...
no one will bother me
go wherever i want to...
not be bind by people...
not be bind by rules...
not be bind by time...
no one will ask me
what do people think when they look at me?
weirdo..
ugly...
freak...
nerd...
geek...
irritating...
i felt unwelcome by the world...
and i wish to be invisible...
so that i know...
when people don't remember me...
is not because they forgot me..
when people don't say hi to me...
is not because they hate me...
when people ignore me...
is not because they are irritated by my face...
is just because i am
invisible.
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 10:52 PM
invisible...
a sudden wave of depression just sweep over me today...
and down i went with that mood current...
too stressed?
i felt screw up...
everything...
studies, work, life, friendship...
on the bright side my love life never did screw up...
but all those were enough...
lost?
i can't imagine myself working yet...
to go to work place at 0830 every morning...
and stuck my head in the work desk till lunch...
then have lunch and back to work again...
at the same time dealing with backstabbers...
and "gossippy" people...
and spend my next 40 years working...
solution: invisible...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 10:46 PM
Friday, September 18, 2009
bad memories...
a silly guy wrote:
"I shut you out from my world a year ago..
for a simple reason: you lied...
you said you would meet when you are back...
you said you would call when you were seen...
you forgot my birthday...
despite reminders and post...
so now i am telling you...
you deserved being shut out...
and you are not forgiven..."
yet he still keep the contact in his phone...
yet he only blocked the contact on msn...
hoping that the greeting that never came will arrive one fine day...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 10:19 PM
i used to...
i remember there was a time when i was invisible...
a time when i turned my back to the world around me...
i remain hidden...
unpolished...
dull...
there was a little boy ten years back...
singing a birthday song together with his class to another friend...
who was also sharing the same birthday as him...
he knew he was forgotten...
but he remain silents...
hoping that someone will just shake his hand and say to him the words he wanted to hear...
but no one did...
and he waited...
but no one did...
for this he now appreciate...
anyone who remembered his birthday...
he still remain silents about the special day...
in hope that his friends will remember to greet him that day...
and he is still waiting...
still waiting...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 10:11 PM
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
a little bit of emo....
there is no rain, there is no cloud...
yet there is a shadow looming my mind...
there are no walls, there are no bars...
yet there is a corner i am stuck at...
what are you?
why are you chasing me?
what do you expect from me?
stop pushing me...
i am suffocating...
who turn the lights out?
who brought the clouds over?
who left the weather cold?
go away....
i want to be alone...
and let me be...
[ ` reaping painful hearts* ]
at 4:01 PM
